Road to Recovery

It’s been almost a year since I’ve written here, and it feels like so much yet so little time has passed. I’ve been through quite the health journey over the last year.

In May of 2021 my gallbladder became infected, resulting in emergent surgery to remove it, which had complications and was a rough road. Since then, I’ve been periodically battling illnesses, including depression and anxiety. I gained quite a bit of weight, and just felt like it was one thing after another with me.

In early June of this year (2022), Jon mentioned to me that he’d noticed me getting progressively sicker. It had started to get to the point where I was unable to function normally. He brought up that he thought maybe my gallbladder removal had something to do with it, and I agreed that this was a good possibility.

I quickly decided to change my diet to a more “liver healthy” diet to see if it improved how I was feeling. I gave up alcohol, red meat, dairy, and I focused on eating low fat and low sugar. Despite these changes, I continued to get worse. I consulted with some people I know who I trust to discuss nutrition, and I also eliminated nuts because they can be hard to digest. I was eating a lot of salads, raw vegetables, beans, lentils, and other high fiber foods.

What I didn’t know was that it had nothing to do with my liver, and those things were actually why I was getting worse. The changes I’d made to my diet had warded off a very ugly disease that was brewing, but the high fiber foods were making it worse.

After making the changes in early June, I quickly noticed my ability to eat food drastically went down. I was only able to eat very small meals, basically only a few bites at a time. Since I’m fairly well-versed in nutrition it didn’t take me long to realize I was not getting in enough calories to sustain myself, but I had lost my appetite and wasn’t able to eat much at all. By the end of June I was eating roughly 700 calories per day. I had lost 25 lbs in less than a month. I made a doctor’s appointment for the afternoon of July 6th.

On the 4th of July I felt ok throughout most of the day, and was able to graze on some food, but I got sick that evening. The following day I was unable to eat anything. On the morning of July 6 I was able to eat a bowl of oatmeal, but as the morning went on I felt more and more nauseous. By lunchtime I had become violently ill. Hours had passed and it continuously got worse. I called Cameron, Jon, and even my mom for help with the little strength I had. Luckily I had done that, because by the time they all made it to me I had started to become unconscious. I remember almost none of the next few events.

From what I’ve been told, I was going in and out of consciousness and responsiveness despite continuing to get sick. The decision was made to take me to the hospital instead of the doctor (obviously), but I couldn’t stay conscious or stop getting sick enough to get out of bed. Jon & my mom made the decision to call 911, the paramedics came and got me safely out of my house, and I got my first ever personal escort to the hospital in an ambulance (yay me – not). I only remember one minute sitting on my bed with my head in a trash can saying I needed to go to the hospital, and the next being in an ambulance with a paramedic who was repeating that his name was Max and we were headed to the hospital.

In the ER they ran a variety of tests, including blood work and a CT scan. My CT was normal, but my blood work showed severe dehydration and low sodium. Meanwhile, my nausea was not under control, and they admitted me with a predicted 2-3 day stay while they tried to get to the bottom of what was making me so sick.

Despite the IV fluids, my hydration and sodium numbers weren’t making much improvement. The initial suspicion that I still had gallstones or another bile leak (from my gallbladder removal) were proven false by 2 procedures. My nausea was barely managed by medication, so the decision was made to do a gastric-emptying study, which tests how well your intestines function as your stomach ingests food. It was a horrid experience and I felt SO sick, but I made it through the test for a determination. I had failed the study, and was diagnosed with Gastroparesis. Finally we had at least 1 answer.

I was put on a new medication call Reglan, which made me nervous because it is a black box drug and is only supposed to be taken short-term, but it did seem to help me with my nausea and digestion. I was also sent in a dietician to go over my new diet, which has been so hard for me to work with. I’ll probably have to write a separate post just on the new diet. The biggest thing I learned is that I cannot eat raw veggies or high fiber foods.

Despite some improvement, however, my sodium levels were not rising, and eventually they became critically low. This is called SIADH/Hyponatremia. My body was retaining the IV fluids and releasing the salt instead of the other way around. The decision was made to discontinue my IV fluids as well as a medication I was on that could be causing the issue, and to try a very risky medication to get my sodium levels back up. It worked, and I lost 6 lbs of water weight in less than 12 hours. I have now lost over 30 lbs in less than 8 weeks.

By that point I had spent 10 days in the hospital trying to figure everything out. Most of that time I was disoriented, confused, unsteady on my feet, and exhausted. They continued to run my blood work for another 2 days, and decided that I had improved enough to go home if I felt I was ready. They gave me the option to stay 1 more day if I felt I wasn’t steady enough yet, but I have a good support system at home and I wanted to be home and in my own bed.

When I was finally allowed to go outside at the hospital and see my kids.

It has now been roughly 8 weeks since I started to get sick, 4 weeks (to the day) since I went into the hospital, and about 12 days since I’ve been home. The first week, especially the first few days, at home were really rough. I don’t know why, but it was almost like leaving the hospital felt like someone should’ve waved a magic wand to make me better, and it just wasn’t the case. I remained unsteady and easily exhausted.

This past weekend I attended my aunt & uncle’s 50th wedding anniversary celebration roughly 5 hours from home. I was nervous to go, but they are such an important part of my life, and I hadn’t seen them since 2019 thanks to COVID and other factors. So I decided to do my absolute best to make it there. I did, and it was just what the doctor ordered. I had a wonderful weekend where I started to feel like an actual human again! I couldn’t have asked for a better weekend.

Jon & I at my aunt & uncle’s 50th wedding anniversary celebration! I was feeling pretty well!

I was feeling so well that on Monday night we decided to go out for a date night and have a belated celebration for Jon’s birthday (10 days late), and I ate outside of my diet. I should not have done that, and I spent yesterday (Tuesday) feeling terrible the whole day. It’s now Wednesday, and I still don’t feel quite right. I still have very little appetite, and I obviously have to stick to the Gastroparesis diet or I will get sick. It’s been a tough battle physically, mentally, and emotionally, but I do feel like this past weekend gave me some hope that I am on the road to recovery and things will continue to improve over time.

I have continued doctor’s appointments coming up, so we will see what decisions are made from here on out, and I just keep hanging on to hope that it’ll all go uphill from here. If I’ve learned one thing from this it’s to not sweat the small stuff, and to take things one day (or even one hour) at a time.

I can’t thank our “village” enough for stepping up to help us during this time. Our families jumped in to help out with the kids, family & friends sent us prayers and well wishes, and they’ve also provided us with meals and gift cards, which we are still continuing to use to help support us during this time. The hardest part about keeping the family running at home has been the meals, so I cannot tell you how much I truly appreciate the support!

Flowers sent/brought to me in the hospital. I had the prettiest hospital room there is because of this! The kids also made me cards, which I displayed.

More updates to come, as my estimated recovery is 10-12 weeks in a best case scenario. Thanks again for all of your support and well wishes!

Starting Over

There have been a few times in my life where I’ve needed to start over; both physically and financially. In my early 20s I went through a financial crisis that lead me to Dave Ramsey, and Financial Peace University. It was around that same time that I was also going through a lot physically and realized I needed to make a change.

Through each job change (including being unexpectedly let go twice) and each pregnancy/child born I have had to reset and go back to basics. In 2019 I got divorced, which is a whole different kind of starting over. The last few years have felt like a physical, emotional, and financial roller coaster. The last 2 years have been some of the hardest of my life. I’m the unhealthiest that I have ever been physically, and though I am definitely not at my unhealthiest financially I have let my budget get lower on the priority list too many times.

At the end of last year I started over. I dug my heels into the sand and again decided I was ready to take control of my physical and financial health again. I lost almost 20 lbs, started an extra side hustle during the holidays, started contributing to a Roth IRA from the side hustle, and was feeling like I was getting back on track. Cue life happening.

I know that I can’t use “life” as an excuse, and I’m not making excuses, but following a series of life events I have found myself back at the starting line again. I’ve gained back the 20 lbs and let my nutrition and fitness routine fall to the wayside. I have also seen a new shift in my primary business as the COVID-19 Delta variant spreads, and gotten far too comfortable with spending money on eating out while I should’ve been stock-piling cash.

Starting over is hard. First, it’s hard to even admit that you need to start over. The thought that I lost those 20 lbs and have to lose them all over again is so defeating. I’m angry with myself for letting my health fall lower again on my list of priorities, when I’ve always known that it should be at the very top along with my fiancé and children. Second, all of those habits that I had worked to create no longer feel like habits, and the temptations of eating out or watching Netflix instead of working out are fierce.

So now I’m faced with starting over. It’s time to reset my focus on my health and finances, and bring those healthy habits back into my life. There is absolutely zero shame in starting over or admitting that you need to start over. The famous self-help author, Napoleon Hill, said “Most great people have attained their greatest success just one step beyond their greatest failure.” When you feel like you’ve failed, the first step towards success is to get up and start over. There’s no way around that.

I’ve started by trying to drink more water (I love Sprite, so this is a good place to start for me). I also took a job working the front desk a couple of mornings per week at a local yoga studio. My shift ends just as a daily class begins, so I will have the opportunity to take the class following my shift. I have committed to training for another 5k. I’ve done countless 5ks in my life, so it is frustrating to start training and realize how far I’ve let myself get behind where I have been in the past, but I’m just going to take it one day at a time using my tried and true Jeff Galloway 5k training plan.

My business, though still feeling the effects of COVID-19, is having it’s best year yet, and between that and my gig at the yoga studio I am looking forward to contributing more to savings in advance of the holidays and 2022. I am really hoping to spend these last 90 days of 2021 with a fresh start, and gearing up for an AMAZING 2022!

What do you hope to accomplish in these last 90 days of 2021? Are you gearing up for 2022? There is no better time to start than today.

The Slump

Ah, the dreaded slump. It always seems to creep in for me as I know it does for many others. You work really hard for a while, and then a couple of bad days roll along and you just can’t seem to pull yourself out of it.

A few weeks ago we went on a road trip to Marceline, Missouri. If you don’t know already, I’m a mega-Disney fanatic. Like, think of the biggest Disney fan you know, add an extra pair of mouse ears and some pixie dust, and that’s where I’m at. Marceline, Missouri is the place that Walt Disney always considered his hometown. In fact, he famously stated “More things of importance happened to me in Marceline than have happened to me since or are likely to in the future.” The Walt Disney Hometown Museum is there, as well as the Disney Family Farm and a couple of other notable places that inspired Walt throughout his lifetime.

The Walt Disney Hometown Museum – Located on the same spot where Walt Disney arrived to Marceline with his family in 1906

One of the things about Marceline that makes it special is that it is a very small, rural town. We stayed at a very small motel (one of 2 in the whole town) and you could walk from one end of Main Street USA to the other in a few short minutes. It poured down rain, but we did manage to find a small gym on Main Street and purchased a day pass so that we could get a workout in. BUT – There were only a couple of places to eat: Ma Vic’s Corner Cafe (open only for breakfast and lunch), a small bar with only fried food options, a Mexican restaurant, a gas station, and a Dollar General. My nutrition suffered IMMENSELY.

I ate horribly, and with an 8.5 hour drive each way, I also ate pretty poorly on the drive to and from Marceline as well. It only took the 3 days we were traveling for it to take a huge toll on me. The sodium made me bloated and my extremities began to swell. I also felt horrible.

It was so bad that I just couldn’t get out of the slump. The last few weeks I’ve felt sluggish, and completely unmotivated to workout or even to cook healthy meals. We’ve eaten take out more times than I can count, and I’ve only worked out a couple of times. Last weekend I biked 5 miles and then ran 5 miles with Jon, and I was sore and in pain afterwards, when just a few short weeks ago I ran a 15k (9.3 miles) and felt great. That was also discouraging, and for the last week I haven’t worked out at all.

Thankfully, my weight hasn’t gone up much – only a couple of pounds. Last night I sat down and started thinking about what I need to do to get out of this slump. A seemingly endless slump is what got me to this point, and I can’t let it get the best of me.

Most of the time you hear people say that you should set the bar higher, but in this case I actually think I need to set the bar lower for myself. What I’ve been doing has continuously felt inadequate. If I run 5 miles, I feel like I should be able to run 10. I also compare my fitness level to others a lot, which is a terrible habit that I’m continuously working to break. Jon’s fitness level far exceeds mine, and I beat myself up every time I can’t keep up with him. It leaves me feeling defeated, and then I struggle to see the point in trying.

This week I’m choosing to turn another corner. Although I’m sure my habits will creep back up on me again, I’m determined to identify when they do, and then do whatever I can to avoid falling back into a slump. I am setting myself some small, and attainable goals for this week (no soda, hit my water goal every day, and 20-30 minutes of activity at least 4x), and am going to build on those rather than pushing myself to train for and run a half marathon over the course of a few weeks. This is what is attainable for ME right now, and I am not going to compare my goals to anyone else’s.

I’m grateful for this outlet where I can pour out my thoughts, and share with the experience and support of others. What are some of the most effective ways that you have found for getting out of the dreaded slump? I’d love to hear your tips!

No Longer “Obese”

Of all of the metrics that I track, BMI is probably the one I want to pay the least attention to. It’s merits have been debated amongst health experts for eons, and I personally know several people who fall within the “obese” limits of BMI, but their percentage of body fat is less than 20%.

BMI is a simple calculation. It’s is your weight (in kg) divided by your height (in m) squared. That’s it. It doesn’t take any other factors into account like your lifestyle or body type. This is why most body builders who have a lot of lean muscle are “obese” by the standards of BMI. BMI doesn’t measure health, it measures your weight compared to your height and spits out a number that shows where you fall on a scale of average underweight to morbidly obese people.

Nonetheless, I am not a body builder, and I still take note of my BMI. Though it is a simple calculation and does not measure health, it can be a quick and easy tool to identify that you may have a weight issue that can lead to weight-associated health problems. For almost the last 3 years I have fallen within the “obese” range on BMI.

This week I am officially no longer “obese” by BMI standards. I am still at the top of the “overweight” range, and have about 28 lbs. to go before I fall within “normal” range, and another 38 lbs. before my goal weight, but I am excited about the fact that when I look at that BMI chart it no longer says “obese” anymore! It’ll be a while before I leave the “overweight” range, so I won’t be paying much attention to BMI for a while. I will instead be focusing on my weight, percentage of body fat, and fitness level to measure my progress.

And of course all of those non-scale victories that I have to look forward to!

Staying Committed While on Family Vacation

I just returned from a 5-night stay in the Great Smoky Mountains with Jon and our 3 youngest children (ages 8, 4, & 3). I’ll put it this way, that was no minor undertaking full of whining, crying, temper tantrums, and arguments over to do or what movie/game to play next. The stress level was pretty high, but the kids did enjoy the water park and outdoor pool, and we got to make some great family memories.

We arrived to our resort in the late evening, so we ordered some Corky’s barbeque DoorDash that evening while I sat down and wrote out a meal plan. I had the smoked turkey with a little bit of barbeque sauce, green beans, and some coleslaw.

We had a full kitchen in our villa, so  we planned out our meals, and placed a grocery order for delivery to the resort. Here are our planned meals that we prepared ourselves (for the adults at least):

Breakfasts: Egg & Cheese Wraps made with Whole Grain Mission Carb Balance Tortillas

Lunchs: Peanut Butter & Jelly Sandwiches, Chicken Sandwich, and leftovers from dinners

Dinners: Impossible Burgers with Long-Grain Wild Rice and Steamed Broccoli, Taco Tuesday

Snacks: Protein Shakes + Benefiber + Medium Apples, Fiber One Coffee Cake Bars

Of course when we ate out we tried to make healthier choices, but did splurge a few times.

Friday: Corky’s Barbeque Smoked Turkey, Green Beans, and Coleslaw

Saturday: Hatfield & McCoy’s Dinner Feud show (pictured bottom right)– Creamy vegetable soup, fried chicken, barbeque pulled pork, corn on the cob, mashed potatoes, cold slaw, and chocolate pudding. This meal was an absolute cheat meal, but we tried to keep our portions small.

Monday: The Park Grill – 7 oz. Filet Mignon & Garlic Mashed Potatoes + Seafood Chowder (another vacation cheat meal eaten in moderation) and FAR too much wine on my part (15 oz.)

Tuesday: Leftovers from The Park Grill at lunch

Wednesday: Breakfast at Flapjack’s Pancake Cabin – Jon & I split the big breakfast, and couldn’t even finish all of it!

We stayed active throughout our trip, even though the Fitness Center was closed. This meant we had to get creative and we used the mountains to help us get in some great workouts! We both got on the scale the day before my next travel plans began. I didn’t gain (or lose) any weight throughout the trip, and Jon only gained about .5 lb. I also noticed that the bathing suit I wear most often is now too big, and the one that was a little bit snug is fitting much better. So yay for #nonscalevictories !

I am committed to staying active over these next few days for my work trip to Jamaica. I will make it a priority be physically active every day and to make choices for healthier meals at the resort. I am looking forward to seeing how the scale will be effected when I get home, and I will share that experience with you as well!